Funny story

[CDNRunaways Fan]

During class, a teacher trying to teach good
manners asks the students, one by one -
"Michael, if you were on a date, having supper
with a nice young lady, how
would you tell her that you have to go to the
bathroom?" she asked.
"Just a minute, I have to go piss."
The teacher replied "That would be rude and
impolite!"
"What about you John, how would you say it?"
"I am sorry, but I really need to go to the
bathroom, I'll be right back."
The teacher responded, "That's better, but it's
still not very nice to say
the word bathroom at the table."
"And you Peter, are you able to use your
intelligence for once and show us
your good manners?"
"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused
for a moment, I have to
shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom
I hope you'll get to meet after supper."
The teacher fainted..

[CDNRunaways Fan]

>>Mildred, 93, was despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl, so
>>she decided to just kill herself and join him in death.
>>
>>Thinking it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's
>>old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since
>>it was so badly broken in the first place.
>>
>>Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to
>>someone, she called her doctor's office to learn her heart's exact
>>location.
>>
>>"Since you're a woman," the doctor said, "your heart is just below your
>>left breast. Why do you ask?"
>>
>>She hung up without answering.
>>
>>Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot
>>wound to her knee.
>
>

[Noclouds]

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a
rectal thermometer?

The taste.

[CanadianGirl]

[CanadianGirl]

[ellanoize]

A guy gets out late from work and on his way home he remembers his little daughter?s birthday. He stops the car, goes into a toy store and asks the shop assistant: "How much does a Barbie doll cost?"
The shop assistant replies: "Which Barbie? We have: Barbie at gym $19.95; Barbie playing volley $19.95; Barbie shopping $19.95; Barbie on the beach $19.95; Barbie dancing $19.95; divorced Barbie $300".
The man, shocked, asks: "And why does each Barbie cost $19.95, and divorced Barbie costs $300???"
The Shop assistant, calmly replies: "The divorced Barbie also has: Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's fishing tools, Ken's furniture, Ken's P.C?"

[cherrysmum]

how come they haven't made barbie and ken in-laws?

[Noclouds]

*lol

[ellanoize]

A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR Stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the hell up."

[cherrysis]

ROTF!!!!